Midpoint Evaluation

RANDOM GERMAN FACT: Yes, I switched it up and put it at the beginning this time:) Germany seems to have an obsession with gummy bears. I haven't figured out why, but they are EVERYWHERE! In Berlin, I got a postcard with a swarm of gummy bears surrounding the Brandenburg Gate, and on my travels I have found at least 5 stores that sold only gummies. Last week, I got a 275-page book entitled "Das kleine Gummibärchen Orakel", or "The Small Gummy Bear Oracle". It explains that your future can be told simply by picking 5 gummy bears out of the bag, and then finding the corresponding page in the book. Every possible colour combination has about a page and a half description of someone's future. It is was absolutely necessary for me to purchase this book, although I have not yet had the chance to make use of its fortune-telling abilities.

Now on to my actual post...

Recently, after having passed the halfway point of my summer adventure, I suddenly felt like something hasn't been going quite right. One of the suggestions that I received from numerous sources before leaving was to, at least once during the trip, evaluate the experience. I was told I should look at my goals, determine if I was still on track, and make decisions about how to get back on track should the need arise. I'll be honest and say that I never thought I would actually take part in this "evaluation". It seemed kind of silly to me - first of all, how can I set goals for an opportunity like this, when I don't know what to expect and I don't even know what I will be doing when I'm there? Also, how can I possibly get off track when the track is so simple? The two biggest reasons that I'm here are:

a) Get experience in field
b) Improve German

Can it really be that hard to do those things when you're working at a biomedical research institute in Germany?

And now I know. The answer is yes.

Here I'd like to point out that, when it comes to getting experience in my field, my goal was blown out of the water. I came in with the hope/expectation that by the end of the summer, I would be able to culture cells. That seems to have been my biggest hurdle in the past and so I wanted to eliminate it for the future. The thing is...I learned how to culture cells on my second day! After just over a month at the Institute I have learned oodles of skills that I never thought I would have the opportunity to learn and that I am sure will be useful for me in the future. Yes, I did just use "oodles" in a sentence.

But then I look at my other big goal of the summer: to improve my German. I am considering attending graduate school in Germany or Austria and in order to do that, I need to take the TestDaF, a test for proficiency in German. I am not proficient enough to get the score that I need, and so I really wanted to make use of this summer to get as close to that level as I could.

However, there is something that I forgot to consider. I am working at a biomedical research institute in Germany. I'm doing science. And the language of science, no matter where in the world you are, is English. That means that 99% of the people that I work with have excellent English language skills, and while that made my first few weeks much less stressful, it also made me forget about my language goals.

I have been speaking German outside of work, but at work the majority has been English. I have been labelled as an English speaker, and it is time to change that. It is true that I lack self-confidence, and I definitely lack confidence in my German capabilities, but hey...if I can give a presentation to my department every week auf Deutsch, I can also talk about how poutine is a really gross Canadian thing, or how Holland is going to kick Spain's bumbum in football this weekend. I can't be a perfectionist; I'm going to mess it up, someone will laugh, I'll get corrected, then I'll know for next time...and this process is NOT a big deal! It's how you learn a language! I already knew this stuff before this journey began, but apparently I forgot. Now I remember.